Breast: It's what's for dinner

I breast fed my children. I myself was a bottle baby, and I think I turned out just fine. Some women are breast feeding nazis. Some are disgusted by the thought of doing it. Then there are those in varying degrees between. All are welcome to their views...as long as they don't go to war over their differences. Both sides are fighting to accomplish the same thing...to do what is best for themselves and their children. But what is most off-putting about the debate is people who find themselves weighing in without knowledge or a stake in the issue...childless men.

If you have seen lactating breasts I am sure you will agree that they are in no way sexually attractive. However, I have come across another person in the realm of cyber space that would like to turn this in to a decency issue.
Anyway, He (being an unmarried 24 year old seminary student with no children) believes that it is immodest for women to feed their children in public and well, here's a quote:

"I'm not saying it's morally wrong....but socially unnerving. I wasn't comfortable with it..there's a difference between doing it in a public place or say the woman's restroom..but that doesn't mean I have a problem with female empowerment..female empowerment might be that I'd give her the right to ask me first if it would offend me.(italics added by me to show the stupidity of this comment...like it needed to be highlighted)...which I would say women most likely don't do. There are plenty of ways to get around it.. there are pumps and you can put your milk in bottles which is not offensive in public..they're designing every day bottles that are better and better for the child.....it's not the feeding that's offensive...it's the method of feeding. The one acting needs to be careful not to offend the one not acting......and accommodate them...not the other way around. She came into my environment (a lobby of a hotel that he works at) and started breastfeeding without making sure it was acceptable to me....I'm uncomfortable around stuff like that...but she didn't care."

This sounds entirely like someone I know at my church. He was involved in the praise band, and also had a microphone during the prayer request time. One Sunday, he had a prayer request. It seems his sister was having a baby, and he was deeply concerned, offended even. His beef? She had not yet consulted him as to whether or not he was "comfortable" with the idea of being an uncle. Some people, no matter how well intentioned, do not posses the maturity to know that the world does not revolve around them and their comfort level.

With my oldest I was quite timid and covered myself even when I was at home with my husband (like he'd never seen them). I didn't have a support system at all and the attempt to breast feed only lasted a few months.

With my middle child, I had access to a lactation consultant. My daughter and I were quite successful and even managed to nurse in public without putting on a show. This actually came about by necessity, as a mother of two now (and trying to be a full-time mom) I had responsibilities that took me out and about. When baby was hungry and there was no time to pump and get a "to go meal" ready before we left, we just kinda plopped down wherever we could and made use of our many blankets and a wonderful contraption called a nursing tent.

It was just a blanket with a strap that snapped around my neck and a little widow of mesh so I could see what was going on, but baby could not kick off the drape. With this contraption I was able to chaperone a youth group trip to Winter Blitz, a large UMC youth retreat/ conference. I nursed in a room with a couple thousand teenagers and none of them even realized.

By the time my youngest came along I was sure I would be fine. However my lactation consultant had gone through a messy divorce and she was not there to support me and I had no other support group. People like to comment about things they do not understand (like the gentleman quoted earlier) so I was intimidated by those who wanted me to hide myself when feeding my son. I had come so far and was back at the beginning again.

The turning point for me was actually at church. My husband was invited to be a worship leader at a small country church by an old friend who was the pastor there. I had not seen his wife since she had become a mother (like three years). The church received us warmly and it was a great fit. My only concern was how I would feed my son.

The only door that led to the rest of the church building was behind the pulpit. The only other option was to go outside and walk around the building. When I asked where I should go if I needed to nurse I was told to keep my behind right in my seat and do what I had to do. She had nursed both of her children in that sanctuary and there was absolutely no reason I should not feel comfortable doing the same.

She helped me regain my confidence. The other women of the church also supported my decision and made it clear that no one would say anything other than encouraging words. I was nursing on demand so a schedule was not part of our day. He would just decide sometime during the service to tell me it was time to eat. With the confidence we gained there soon I was able to feed him anywhere without covering my body from head to toe with blankets.

I did not go out in public to make a statement. I went out in public to accomplish what was necessary to my day. I didn't nurse my children to make a statement. I nursed my children because that is what was best for my family (anyone who has had to purchase formula can understand that). I was always discreet when I was breast feeding in public. I am sure that the woman mentioned above was as discreet as she could be in the hotel lobby too.

Does anyone truly think that a woman, holding a hungry infant in her arms, is going to walk up to every stranger in her vicinity and ask them if it okay for her to feed her hungry child without offending them thus drawing more attention to what she is doing?